Emma-Jane Nursing Bra Give-Away!

To help support National Breastfeeding Awareness Week [June 19th-June 26th] Emma-Jane is giving away one of their Next Generation Seamfree nursing bras.
Although the Government encourage mums to breastfeed, and want hospitals to encourage us to breastfeed, they have cut all funding for the initiative.
I have one nursing bra to give away to one lucky lady. 
The bra up for grabs is the Emma-Jane’s Next Generation Seamfree nursing bra.
Its a hugely popular nursing bra for the following reasons:

1. The bras are available from only £10! Which is amazing compared to prices of other nursing bras on the market.
2. The bra can be worn as a maternity bra, sleeping bra and a nursing bra. Saving you money with no need to buy three seperate bras!
3.  The ultra-soft knitted seamfree fit and a soft under-band makes it an exceptionally comfortable choice, while giving great support.
4. It comes in four sizes: 32, 34, 36, 38 but just one cup size that fits from B to F so that as breasts change mums don’t need to spend a fortune on different size bras. It just expands or contracts with your breast size. 
5. It comes in black, white and skin colours. 

You can view other bras in the range by visiting www.emma-jane.com or read their blog here Emma-Jane Maternity Blog

To be in with a chance of winning on of the  Next Generation Seamless Bras you must to do the following and comment below to say you have done so (one comment please). 

• Follow @emmajanebras and @laurenhousewife on Twitter

• Tweet the following:  "I want to win a Next Generation Seamfree Nursing Bra from @emmajanebras http://tiny.cc/wnirg @laurenhousewife"

• Sign the Petition to get the Government to reinstate the funding for Breastfeeding Week.

 FOR AN EXTRA ENTRY: (you will need to leave a second comment to say you have done this)

• 'like' the Emma-Jane Maternity Facebook Page

Winner will be selected using random.org on the 26th of June. Please make sure you leave your Twitter name or some form of details so I can contact you if you are successful.

EDITED: 26/06/11 7:05PM: **COMPETITION CLOSED**

Here are some of the comments the bra has recieved so far!

"I'm expecting a baby in a few weeks time and regular bras were starting to get very uncomfortable. I purchased these and they have been excellent. They fit very well and are really comfortable. I will be buying some more!" From Figleaves.com.

"I think these are excellent value and incredibly comfortable especially in comparison to the other non-wired maternity bras I have. It is the perfect bra to sleep in if you want some extra support overnight and it is what I put in as soon as I get through the door in the evening. I haven’t had my baby yet and so can’t comment on the ease of breastfeeding but the clip / unclip seems very easy to use. Overall fantastic comfort and value and what can be an uncomfortable and expensive time!" From Figleaves.com.

"I’m 6 months pregnant & found this bra really comfortable. Plenty of room to expand, but still supportive. Good value too." From Figleaves.com.

"Brilliant that it goes from sizes B to F. Genius!" From a Wear Tester report

"Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!!!! I just wish I'd known about it a year ago. Definitely the best nursing/maternity bra I have ever worn. Definitely recommend it to everyone I know. 10 out of 10." From a Wear Tester report.

"Every pregnant woman or breastfeeding mum needs a wardrobe staple when it comes to underwear and the Emma Jane Next Generation Seamfree nursing bra might just be the one. True to form, Emma Jane has designed a price-conscious garment that rolls comfort, support and value into one, making it a real contender to more expensive seamfree bras on the market." Leading parenting site Madeformums.com.

“This bra is great value & due to its great shape & fit it's really comfortable. I have been wearing this bra for the last month of my pregnancy both day and night and I'm sure I'll still be using it for the next 6 months for feeding.” Babyworld review.

“Love this bra. Being that the cup size covers from B-F it's great to wear straight after birth as milk supply settles as your size can vary hugely during this time! The ruched center works well and adds nice detail and the knitted underband is very comfortable. It's a great bra in my opinion!” Babyworld review.

Profile Me.

JoJo over at JoJos's So-Called Life recently posted about an activity she had taken part in at work to help to get to know each other better. Each person had to create a profile which included three sections. The following is taken from JoJo's page.

The three sections though need to be explained so that you understand why they are included.


Good things about me-this is a section where you personally think of good things about yourself, maybe things that people say about you all the time like "wow you have amazing eyes/teeth/hair" or "you are extremely confident/happy/out-going", then the group you're working with write down three more appropriate ones to add to your list (working with a group of boys on mine created some uber inappropriate ones such as "bang tidy" but it could have been worse!).

What is important to me- this could be at work or in life, in general. It could be little things like having a bath before you go to bed or going to the gym (this one was not mine btw!)

How best to support me-this is an important part of the profile because it's suppose to help people understand what your needs are especially if they have to work with you.

 JoJo asked if anyone else would like to have a go. I thought, why not!

Good Things About Me:

• Reliable. 
• I always put my son and my husband first.
• Always there for my friends.
• Good sense of humour.
• Sensitive.
• Always available for a hug [a real life one or a virtual one]
• Honest
• Open-minded

What Is Important To Me:

• My son[s]
• My husband
• My family
• My cat and rabbit
• Respect
• Honesty
• Family time [days out or quality time just the 3 of us [4 including bump]]

How Best to Support Me:

• (taken slightly from JoJos list but it really fits with me) Never judge me. (I've realised certain people in my life, still after 8 years, have a certain perception of me and it hurts. Especially when you think these people love you and know you better)
• Laugh at my jokes
• Ask me if I'm ok.
• Don't ignore my husband and only ask how me and Charles are.
• Appreciate me.
• Use manners.
• Understand and accept what is important to me.

 We are supposed to include a photo of ourselves too.

Listography: Finals!

Kates Listography this week is held by one of my new favourite Tweeters and Bloggers, Reluctant Housedad.
Now as an expert in all things cheesy, no seriously, he knows his cheese, has Encyclopedias about them too! I was expecting it to be cheese related in some way.
Top 5 favourite cheeses?
Top 5 foods to eat with cheese?
Well he disappointed me.

Instead our topic is FINALS.

Unfortunately, Kate isn’t here to do all that pushing and prodding, so I’ll have to do. C’mon, it’s only a week. One. Week.
So, after much head-scratching and several pints of Doombar, the best I’ve come up with for this week’s Listography is: FINALS
Here’s the premise. A couple of weeks ago we were told the world was going to end. It didn’t (did it? have I missed something?) so The End has now been re-scheduled to December 21 2012.
That leaves us with 18 months to prepare our Final Farewells, Final Suppers, Final Words, Final Destinations, Final Resting Places, Final Shags and lots, lots more.
SO WHAT WOULD YOUR 5 FINALS BE?

I first read Reluctant Housedads post on Saturday and planned to write and post mine than, like a good little blogger. I was going to copy most of his list in terms of Final Supper, Final Destination etc BUT I found that too hard. I am a girl who likes her food. How can I pick a Final Supper? And it felt like cheating that I'd be choosing a certain food yet, on the day we were told the world was going to end, this certain meal wasn't consumed by me.

I don't get all this rubbish about the end of the world and think the Mayans were stupid and if the world is going end then anyway, no matter who said it, I just want to go. Let it happen whilst I'm changing a nappy or watching Postman Pat (not exactly two things I would wish for are they!)

So my list for KeithTakes5 is going to be FINAL COUNTDOWN!
I love having something to look forward to and am constantly counting down to something.

1: Belly Beautiful Bump Shoot:
A photographer friend of mine offers a great package now called "Belly Beautiful" you get a maternity shoot and a newborn shoot for a certain price. We have booked this with her (I am paying her for the shoot, please don't think I am advertising and getting it for free)
My bump shoot is THIS COMING SATURDAY! Eeek! I'm not hugely confident anyway and with stretchmarks on my tummy, which, as my husband describes them, look like claw marks, I'm even less confident. (the red strechmarks are extensions of the now clear stretchmarks from my previous pregnancy!)
I am not really bothered about having stretchmarks, I'd rather grow a baby and have stretchmarks than have no stretchmarks and no baby but lets face it, they are NOT pretty.
So I now have until Saturday to plan my outfit, plan my make up (yep I am that organised and fussy) plan how to make it look like I do actually have a neck (I have the shortest neck known to man, its not flattering!)
If I'm happy to share the photos I will see if Shellie will let me blog them (using her watermark across them too of course)

2: A Day At the Wood + Bread and Butter Pudding:
The day after my bump shoot we are travelling to Warwickshire-NUMB BUM ALERT-to see my husbands aunty and uncle (if his uncle isn't working) My husbands mum, sister and brother in law will also be there so we are having a family meal. His uncle [Also one Charles' godfathers] is an amazing cook and will always cook me anything I ask for. I have put in an order for Bread and Butter Pudding and although he may now not be there due to work he is still going to cook my Bread and Butter Pudding for me.
The wood in which they live, which I've blogged about somewhere before, is amazing and has been in the family for A LOT of years (my husbands grandad built the 3 houses in the wood) is such a wonderful place to be, especially in the spring/summer. Expect photographs.

3: Charles' Birthday Weekend and Birthday:
My tiny baby is no longer going to be my tiny baby. He's going to be two. One. Two! Two! Two? How did he get to two??!!

We are having my dad over the Saturday afternoon along with his wife, her mum and my nanny for a BBQ. Then on the Sunday having his "party". His 5 little friends will be there with their parents, our mums, and hubbys sister. (I think) We're doing for a BBQ again as last year I opted for Sandwiches and later regreted it.
On his birthday we are going to the local Wildlife Park. We wanted to go elsewhere but this zoo has Rhinos and they are Charles' current favourite animal (as well as Dinosaurs, I guess they look a bit like Dinosaurs?!)
We have said that once we are ready to go home we will take him to the gift shop and buy him some kind of Rhino souvenir. And then we are going to head to a nearby pub for dinner. We considered Pizza Hut but the nearby pub does the most amazing food and we don't go there enough!

4: Feet Nibbleage and Spa Treatment afternoon!:
I'm going to get my feet nibbled by loads of tiny and hungry fish. I'm going with my best friend, she went before and enjoyed it so I'm going with her. I then suggested we go somewhere else and have some other treatments. Although I have no idea what to have! I'm thinking of being boring and just having something done to my eyebrows (wax and dye maybe) and maybe getting my lashes dyed.
Manicures are out as I am a disgusting nail biter. Pedicures I don't get, I can paint my own toe nails and touch them up if chipped.
And a facial, well I did think about a facial but stupidly I think that I have a decent moisturiser, I have cleaners and toners and face scrubs which, when I can be bothered to use, leaves my skin amazing.
And massages make me feel a bit uncomfortable.

5: Hmmmmm, difficult one. The Spa treatment takes me to the end of June then we're into July. What could I possibly be counting down to in July.
Oh yeah..........BABY BOY NUMBER TWO!
No description or explanation needed.
BRING.IT.ON!

[6 & 7 are a family holiday to the Lake District (maybe) in October and then BoyTwos Christening in November...unless we change our minds and go for January]
Phew! Glad I went for this list rather than the end of the world one. I'm not left feeling all depressed and teary....ok I am teary but its hormones!

Don't forget to head over to KEITHtakes5 to add entries and read all the others.

Silent Sunday

"The set includes one Playmobil ranger and his weapon"

• The Playmobil Rangers Jeep with Rhino comes with a caged trailer to transport the Rhino.
• The rear seats of the jeep can be removed to make more space and the wheels are changeable.
• The set includes one Playmobil ranger and his weapon.

Does the last bullet point sit uncomfortably with anyone else? Or is it just me?

On the birthday present search for Charles I noticed a Playmobil Rangers Vehicle with Rhino and thought I'd take a look as Charles really likes Rhinos.

Reading through the information, trying to work out how big it is and what it does for the price I was instantly put off by the fact that it comes complete with a weapon.

Now I'm all for role play and imaginative play but feel this is going a bit too far.

I for one, do not want my child lining these animals up and shooting at them as a game. Ok the game is for 4 years and older and Charles is only [almost] 2 but I've always used my own initiative when picking his toys and deciding myself if he is old enough to play with certain products.

I digress.

I understand that maybe to some I am over-reacting with this issue. And I do realise that eventually Charles may play Cowboys and Indians with his friends and pretend to be in the army etc but to include a weapon in a toy which includes animals, some of which are almost endangered, just fills me with anger.

"take the weapon out so he can't play with it"
"just don't buy the toy"

I can almost hear some of you saying the above statements but its not the point.

Its the fact that the toy includes the item in the first place that makes me uncomfortable. I could imagine taking my children to the local zoo, going into the Rhino enclosure and them pretending to shoot at them. It would embarrass me so much.
I'm also looking at it in the way of someone else buying him such present. If I didn't realise it included a gun and all of a sudden he's opened this box to discover an amazing toy that includes a car, wow, a man, wow, a trailer, wow, a Rhino, WOW and......a gun.....wow???
I don't want to have to vet every present he's given.

I guess initially they wouldn't know why the gun was included with the toy, and one day the question subject will arise. "dat?" (Charles way of saying Whats that?) and here I would have to make up some excuse as to why a weapon has been included in this toy....or tell him the truth.
I've always said that I don't want to lie to my children, or hide things from them. So if they ask about sex, I tell them about sex, if they ask about death, I tell them about death, but at 4 years old or younger, do I really want to explain to my child that "if the Rhino is naughty the ranger shoots him"? Of course I don't.

If you hadn't already guessed this present won't be unwrapped by Charles on his birthday.

What is your opinion on it?

The Great Birthday Present Debate.

I'm stressing out.
It's silly.
You see I like to be organised when it comes to birthday presents and Christmas presents, especially so for Charles.
For his first Christmas he was stupidly spoilt, he didn't know what it was about but we did, and with his birthday being in the middle of the year [almost] we use this time to go over his toybox and update if needed. For his first Christmas he was 6 months so we were getting away from the rattles and "baby toys" and into the world of activity toys.
For his first birthday we bought him a Thomas train track thing, which was rubbish, a lot of the bits ended up missing and it was just not ever going to be practical. It was cheap so went into the bin. He got various Thomas related toys from family, Mega Blox and other items more suited to a 1 year old boy!
Again, last Christmas his toybox was scanned, new more suitable items were bought and we had a happy little boy. Infact he was so happy with most of the presents he opened of Christmas Day that we had to force him to open the majority of them and left half for another day. His final present wasn't opened until New Years Day!

The New Years Day present happened to be the one I was most excited about him having [other than his Giant Makka Pakka teddy] and it was his Garage/Multistory Car Park.
I sent the boys off for the day and built the garage in the afternoon......5 hours later it was finished and looked ok. Not amazing but he was sure to love it.
And he did. The garage had the carpark section and then a spiral ramp to the right. This ramp is ridiculous and within a week had been broken off and after a month if not less of us repairing it, we gave up and left it without. He was still happy with the toy anyway.
Less than 5 months on I'm sad to announce that this garage is now somewhere in a recycle plant in their plastics section awaiting its future.
It was pants.
Charles was never heavy handed with it, yet it broke so often that it was in the end unusable and even Charles noticed this.

Now its his birthday in two and a half weeks and I am still debating what to get him.
I am annoyed with myself because normally I'd have it all planned. Well, I did have some of it planned. We would get him a small trampoline for the garden (one of the ones with a handle for them to hold on to) and a road mat. Except my mum decided to buy the road mat as an Easter present and the trampoline for his birthday present.
Back to square one then.
I've asked my mother in law to get Charles a garage. She is giving us £30 to get one so we can pick one we are happy with. Except I keep wondering whether or not he needs one?
He's really happy with his road mat and a Christmas present my mum gave him seems to be sufficient enough as it includes a slide (which aliens are supposed to slide down) which he uses as a ramp.
I think I'm just nervous of buying another garage which turns out to break in another 5 months time.
I'm just constantly flitting between the positives and negatives of a garage.
He's a boy, every boy needs a garage, like every girl needs a pram.
He has well over 50 cars (really, I wish I was exaggerating) so the garage would be used.
He has a brother coming so they would both end up playing with the garage if it is a good decent one.

So, if the garage is purchased. Then what do we get him???
I've searched Argos, Toys R Us, Mothercare and ELC and nothing really jumps out at me. Yet looking at Charles' toybox it seems like there is a hole needing to be filled. A hole which isn't filled with yet more cars.
With the baby on the way I am wanting to get him [Charles] toys which are really going to hold his attention, ones he will be happy to play with alone for a while whilst I'm busy getting the baby to sleep or feeding the baby.
Our only solid idea for a present at the moment is a small disco ball, due to the fact he was mesmorised by the one on holiday in Lanzarote and loves dancing.

The Happyland Dino Playset also looks quite inviting too. But still, theres something missing.

Anyone care to offer inspiration....please?

1: No to a kitchen or large item like this, we simply don't have room for it with the babies things on top of Charles current toys.
2: He has a swing for the garden, and is getting a slide from my dad and nan.
3: No to a sand table, we want the beach to be a novelty and also have a cat (cat + sand table = litter tray!)
4: He has a keyboard and a guitar. 

Anyone wish to help me in my quest?

Peter Rabbit™ Organics: Review.

With the hot weather fast approaching, and in some cases already with us, it’s very important to keep your child very well hydrated.
Whenever leaving the house I always find myself running back into the house to grab a beaker and fill it with juice, throwing it in the change bag, and in most cases finding the beaker has leaked all over the nappies and spare clothes also packed in the bag.

The lovely people at Peter Rabbit™ Organics sent us, well Charles, some of their juices to review.

The juices are available in three child-friendly flavours; Apple and Grape, Blackcurrant and Apple, Pear. With no added sugar, preservatives or artificial ingredients, these 150ml mini juice cartons are the perfect addition to your change bag or picnic hamper this summer.

The size of the cartons also means you can stock up on them without them taking up too much storage space in your kitchen cupboards or fridge.

The juices are already diluted down so are kind to toddlers’ tummies and teeth, and  they are suitable from 6 months.

The Peter Rabbit™ Organics juices are made in a nut-free factory, are wheat and gluten free and dairy free.

Peter Rabbit™ Organics is a small, privately-owned company passionate about providing parents with healthy, organic children’s drinks and snacks with no added salt, sugar or artificial ingredients.

The Peter Rabbit™ Organics range includes juices, fruit purees and pasta sauce.

Peter Rabbit™ Organics was founded in 2004 and is based in London.

As soon as Charles saw the cartons he got very excited and immediately started asking for some juice.

I took the straw out of the plastic wrapping myself and handed it to him to see if he could work out how to insert it into the carton without assistance. I was impressed at how easily he was able to do so but also at how snug the straw was in the carton as this prevented spillage, which I normally find an issue with cartons.

A concern of mine at first looking at the cartons was that it wouldn’t be fulfilling enough because of the cartons being small and that he wouldn’t feel satisfied after drinking just one carton.

I am happy to report that this is not the case. These cartons are the tardis of the juice world! Charles ended up feeling very refreshed at the end of his first carton and I could tell from the amount of time he was drinking from it that there was more than enough juice to hydrate him.

Charles regularly tells me if he likes the taste of something, normally by telling me its ‘nice’ and/or ‘good’.

In this case once he was halfway through the juice he stopped and told me “yum, its nice” took another sip and said “its good”. (I also had a sneaky taste of the juices and can confirm that they are really tasty and thirst-quenching.

All three flavours have been a real hit with him and these juices will definitely be making a regular appearance in our online grocery shopping order!

The Peter Rabbit™ Organics juices are available in the baby aisles at Sainsburys, Waitrose, Asda, Booths, Whole Foods and Ocado, plus a selection of small, independent retailers, cafes and delis for an RRP of 55p each.

www.peterrabbitorganics.co.uk

Early baby loss.

A conversation with @theboyandme and @multiplemummy beginning simply with talking about September being a good month for us to conceive and then how long did it take us to conceive ended up on the topic of Chemical Pregnancy.

Fellow bloggers TheBoyAndMe and Multiple Mummy had never heard of Chemical Pregnancies, and neither had I. Until I had one.

As I’ve said before in a recent post about baby loss its such a taboo subject. Don’t talk about it, don’t ask about it, don’t acknowledge it. But why? It happens. Is it because we simply don’t know what to say? Nothing will make it better, nothing will take away the hurt. But so many times I’ve seen mummies, and daddies, say that they just want to be asked if they are ok, they want to have a normal conversation, and in a few instances, friendships have come to an end because people don’t know how to be around the person who has suffered the loss.

This is why I never talk to friends really about my two chemical pregnancies. Not only because I simply know they do not know what to say, but because chemical pregnancies aren’t really known about its not something to easily talk about, and in cases where I have spoken about it, doesn’t seem to be recognised as baby loss.

I remember being sat in a friends lounge, another friend of hers was there also and they were discussing someone who had recently lost a baby at between 16 and 20 weeks [I can’t quite recall the exact gestation]. The girl who had sadly lost her baby had named him, something I didn’t find at all weird. Yet these two girls sat there and said “but he wasn’t even a proper baby yet, what’s the point in naming him? What a waste of a name” and other insensitive comments. I put my attention into playing with Charles and holding in the anger that was running through my body. Both of these girls had named their babies early on in their pregnancies, how was this any different?

I can understand totally that it isn’t understood or recognised as baby loss, compared to babies lost further on in pregnancy.

  

SO, WHAT IS A CHEMICAL PREGNANCY?

A chemical pregnancy is the clinical term used for a very early miscarriage. In many cases, the positive pregnancy test was achieved before the woman’s period was due but a miscarriage occurred before a heartbeat was able to be seen on an ultrasound.

With the ultra sensitive pregnancy tests on the market today, it is easier than ever to get a positive result 3 or 4 days before your period is due. It is wonderful for those who NEED to know, but does have its down side. Early testing shows chemical pregnancies which would not have been detected had the woman waited for her period to arrive.

Chemical pregnancies are unfortunately very common. 50 to 60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage very early in pregnancy. Most occur without the woman even knowing that she was pregnant.

And, What Causes and Chemical Pregnancy?

Most chemical pregnancies are due to chromosomal problems in the developing fetus. Other possible causes are inadequate uterine lining, uterine abnormalities both congenital or acquired like fibroids, low hormone levels, luteal phase defect or certain infections.

*Information taken from http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/chemical-pregnancy.html

Both of my chemical pregnancies were shortly followed [2 months later in both cases] by successful pregnancies. (Assuming that this baby arrives safely) So I never had the chance really to dwell on the loss that I’d suffered. But the truth also is, that I didn’t feel I had suffered.

In the first chemical pregnancy I had gone as far as taking a test, positive, followed by another faint line. We called family, all over the moon and even popped over to my dads to celebrate.

A few days later I tested again and got a negative test and a couple of days later my period turned up.

We were confused and just assumed we’d got 2 false positives.

After researching online we’d realised that it was down to a chemical pregnancy.

We then had to inform our families that I actually wasn’t pregnant and felt slightly embarrassed by it really.

We had a holiday coming up so it took our minds off the disappointment that it had gone wrong.

Charles' test.

Thankfully on that holiday we conceived and 9 months later Charles was with us. But telling our families again that we’d conceived was met by some with “oh right” and a lack of enthusiasm. Especially from my dad and when I confronted him about it he was honest and said that we’d already told us we were pregnant and he had to get used to not being a granddad and didn’t want to get his hopes up (please don’t be taken in by this, he’s not as sweet as he sounds)

Last year I felt extreme pains in my stomach, I didn’t know how to explain them to my husband, when I first felt them we were in the car and when I got home I realised I was bleeding. My period wasn’t due just then so it was a surprise.

We put it down to my cycles still getting into a routine and thought that maybe the fact I was breastfeeding still was messing things up. We went away for the weekend to Warwickshire for Charles’ naming ceremony and I was still bleeding.

I spoke to my mother in law and my husbands aunty about it because I was concerned, not only was it heavy bleeding but it was lasting a long time, and one of them mentioned miscarriage and it made sense.

Returning home I phoned my doctors surgery and got an appointment. Blood tests were taken but nothing came back abnormal so my hormone levels were ok, but the female doctor I saw confirmed that she thought it was a chemical pregnancy also.

She suggested keeping an eye on my cycles for 2/3 months and then booking a smear, I hadn’t been able to have a smear before this time due to not being old enough [25] . I agreed and left feeling a little weird and deflated.

I’d always said that if I could only have one child then fine, so be it, I had convinced myself almost that I wouldn’t be lucky enough to be able to have another child as [to me] Charles is so perfect, and this feeling remained, yet I also had a feeling of disappointment that this had happened and that I wasn’t able to hold onto this baby.

It was very early days this time though, early enough that I hadn’t even tested or yet missed a period.

Most recent test!

Then two months later came the day I would test, and two lines show up. I was scared this time, I didn’t want to go through another chemical pregnancy, or loss of any kind.

All throughout my pregnancy with Charles I appreciated everyday my body kept him alive. And this time I am exactly the same, if not more appreciative, simply because now I know exactly what I would miss, the newborn crying [yes I would miss that] the milky cuddles, the silly o clock wake ups and everything else we do tend to take for granted and let pass us by.

I say thank you every night, and every morning that I’d go through the day and the night with an active and healthy baby inside me.

The two chemical pregnancies I “suffered” are in my mind, but not something I think about too often. There was a reason these both happened. And I have comfort in knowing [thinking] that my body was able to tell this and sort the “problems” out sooner rather than later.

It’s so easy to think our bodies have failed us by not grabbing hold of that baby and doing what it can to make sure everything is perfect. But I trust my body and know it didn’t fail me or fail the baby.

It did the best it could and made the right decision.

Is it something you can ignore? [SANDS Raffle]

In the past I've been a member of three pregnancy/baby forums.
It was on these sites that I became aware of baby loss. From early miscarriages to babies born sleeping at full term.

Joining these forums I expected it all to be fluffy and full of happy birth stories. New mothers sharing how in love they are with their newborn babies and discussing the new stages and developments etc.
But I soon realised the reality of pregnancy and birth. The side we don't hear about enough, that some women and families are almost not allowed to share because people don't want to hear it, people ignore it and pretend it doesn't happen.

I made a promise to myself, that from that point on, no matter how upset or uncomfortable I felt, I would read every post which included *sens* [sensitive] in the title.
Although I no longer visit any of these baby forums I have continued my promise not to ignore baby loss and will read stories and articles in papers and magazines, watching features on the tv and through blogs such as the recent post on Maternity Matters covering the story of a couple who's baby was cremated without their knowing.

17 babies per day are stillborn, or die soon after birth, thats 6,200 per year in the UK alone. This is a shocking statistic and among the highest in the developing world. The figure is 10 times the amount of cot deaths and more than the number of people killed on the roads, yet stillbirth seems to remain taboo in today's society. 

Through these forums I also became aware of the Stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands.

Sands is a national charity, established by bereaved parents in 1981.

They have 3 core aims which are to:

• Support anyone affected by the death of a baby;
• To work in partnership with health professionals to improve the quality of care and services offered to bereaved families; and
• To promote research and changes in practice that could help to reduce the loss of babies' lives

To find out more about their core aims please follow the links above. 

Through searches on the internet via Google you can see the many Fundraising events for Sands.

One I have recently noticed via another blog, Something about Clairey, is a Charity Raffle in aid of SANDS.

There are some really amazing prizes up for grabs, its definitely worth checking out! You can buy raffle tickets in multipules of 5. [5 for £5.00, 10 for £10.00, 15 for £15.00 and 20 for £20.]

They are aiming to raise £10,000 for SANDS in memory of baby Mia, who was sadly born asleep on 26th March 2011.  

On Saturday 26th March 2011 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl at 2:35am at Furness General hospital in Barrow. Baby Mia weighed a healthy 7lbs.6ozs, she had lots of dark hair (just like her mummy), a cute little button nose and pretty little mouth, she looked just perfect.

On Friday 25th March 2011, the day before Mia was born, I hadn't felt any movements for a few hours and alerted my midwife. At 39 weeks and a perfectly normal pregnancy, me and my husband David were given the terrible news that our baby had died. The doctors, to date, haven't been able to give us any reason why this happened, just days before my actual due date. I was induced and our precious daughter was born sleeping. A sister for our 2 year old son Jack, a niece for our brothers and sisters and a grandaughter for our parents. So many people have been affected by this tragedy and as two healthy individuals aged 25 and 27 it just doesn't seem to make sense... "this sort of thing doesn't happen to us." Well sadly it does, it happens to many families across the UK every single day.

If you would like to donate directly to SANDS through the Just Giving page dedicated to Mia, without entering the raffle, please do so at Mia’s Just Giving page.

Every moment I feel this baby move inside me I say thank you and am so grateful that everything is ok. But I am fully aware that it doesn't make me safe, and that in reality, I could be one of those families that experiences stillbirth. [Hense why I get very annoyed at friends moaning about pregnancy on Facebook a lot]

I have no connection to this family or blogger at all but reading their story touched my heart and I couldn't just ignore it, I promised myself after all. 

Save The Children-Pass It On

TheBoyAndMe has tagged me in a very special and important meme.
 
This meme was originally started by Maggy at Red Ted Art and Josie at Sleep Is For The Week.

**Not been tagged??? Take part ANYWAY… do the below and you are away***
**Don’t want to craft, but do want to help? Go straight to point 3 & sign the petition**

The challenge is simple:
1) Get your child to either draw or craft a self-portrait of themselves now or in the future. Check out Maggy’s self-portrait post for some tips to get the littlies interested!
2) Sign the Save the Children petition and then pass it onto your friends
3) Write a blog post about it as soon as possible, including info about Save the Children and the petition. We want as many people linked up AND signed up the petition by Sunday 29th May 2011
4) Tag 8 fellow blogger friends
5) Link up your posts on the blog-hop below or to RedTedArt or Sleep is for the Weak
6) If you have time, visit each other posts and say hello!

I know we are not always fans of “Meme”s and Tags… but don’t forget – memes are a wonderful way to discover new and wonderful blogs. They are a wonderful way to help you build some links and to network with other bloggers… so go on, don’t knock them and take part!

Looking on Facebook I notice other mummies status updates regarding their young children. One that seems to get the most comments is...."XXXXX is taking her baby to get his/her jabs today :-(" Recieved normally with replies of "awwww poor baby. Hope he/she is ok and it doesn't hurt too much."

Being pregnant at the moment and with Charles quickly approaching his second birthday I have been reminising and thinking back to where these last two years have gone, and what we have done, achieved and experienced in that time.

I remember taking Charles for all of his jabs. Most of the time I would end up in tears at my baby being hurt by a needle. We’d come home and prepare for a possible day or two, or in the case of the MMR, 2 weeks, of reactions to the jabs…never something I complained about as being a stay at home mummy I was here 24/7 to comfort him if indeed he did react at all.

The only injections he reacted to was the MMR, it was simply just a temperature with the rash 2 weeks later. Nothing cuddles couldn’t solve.

We received a letter early this year telling us that we were behind with Charles’ vaccinations. I panicked. This was something I’d always kept on top of and had done when we were told to.

I phoned the surgery and was told he hadn’t had a certain vaccination, I was adamant that he had but apparently the system was saying he hadn’t so we were booked in for him to have the vaccinations the next day.

I checked his red book, read it all thoroughly and phoned the surgery, telling them that they must have it wrong, he’d definitely had these vaccinations and he’d had them on time.  The receptionist was quite argumentative so I read out EVERYTHING that was written in the red book. Gave her every reference number I had and told her the initials signed next to each reference number.

She eventually believed what I had said after a long phonecall, and realized that the system simply hadn’t been updated. I felt quite upset as her tone wasn’t the most welcome and she seemed to be judging me and thinking I was putting off having my sons vaccinations. When infact it was the opposite, I didn’t want him having unnecessary ones which had already been carried out!!

During my first pregnancy and now having a child I realize just how privileged we are regarding the NHS.: free medical care, free vaccinations, well trained [in most cases] staff and top quality equipment.

Thinking to baby two, will I panic so much and get as upset when it comes to the vaccinations? No [ok I may still get upset at someone making my baby cry] but I’ll most certainly be looking long term. A day or two, or maybe two weeks of poorliness in exchange for a healthy child protected against these illnesses is so worth it. And not something I would ever consider not getting done.

The 2 seconds of pain from the needle being placed into their skin is worth it. Really worth it. 

This week 3 bloggers/ vloggers are going to Mozambique to follow the journey of a vaccine from the coldstore in the city right down to a rural community. They will write, make films and tweet about their experiences, the children and families they meet and the challenges of “cold” vaccinations in hot countries.

The bloggers going are diverse, Lindsay Atkin (@Liliesarelike) is a hugely popular YouTuber, Chris Mosler (@christinemosler) is an influential parenting blogger and TraceyCheetham (@tchee) is a popular political blogger and recently elected councilor.

Follow all the action in Mozambique on Twitter using the hashtag #PassItOn

I asked Charles what he wants to be when he's older, I expected him to reply with "Pat" thinking great, we can draw a postman. No, he want's to be a train. Not to drive a train. To be a train.
At 23 months, I'm not going to argue with him. I'll let him think he can be whatever he'd like.
This is his drawing of a train. Again, he's 23 months, please do not judge.

Probably already tagged I would imagine but these are my 8 bloggers:

1: The Mummy Life

2: Mummy Mishaps

3: Mummy Daddy and Me Makes Three

4: Mumra

5: Him Me and Three

6: Metal Mummy

7: Mothers Always Right

8: Momma Two

Today one in five children worldwide receives no vaccines at all – they are the poorest, most marginalised children most at risk of killer illnesses such as pneumonia, diarrhoea and measles.
In this day and age no child should die from a disease that could be prevented by immunisation.
Vaccines save lives. This is the opportunity. Please take it.

My Pandora

This is something I've wanted to blog about for a while but was unsure as to how to approach it.
Then I spotted Mocha Beanie Mummy's Silent Sunday and was particularly attracted by a comment from Nicki Cawood [Curly & Candid]:

I'm going to honest, I don't "get" Pandora, why is it so expensive? A local jeweller was selling similar (almost identical) at a fraction of the price. Am I just really unfashionable and don't "get" it?

It does obv mean something to you Jay or you wouldn't have snapped it :) A present, or do you just love it?

Personally, I didn't "get" the whole Pandora craze. Infact at first I was adimant that I would never join the Pandora Club and own one myself.
For my 24th birthday I asked for a bracelet, I wanted a nice classic gold chain bracelet, something I could wear all the time on my left wrist [my wedding rings are gold so the bracelet had to be too]
We headed off to H Samuel, and purchased a beautiful bracelet, I was really really pleased with it. I was nervous as I had a grabby 3 month old baby who I was sure would break the bracelet, but thankfully he wasn't interested. Then one day I looked on the floor and noticed the bracelet had just snapped, for no reason at all. I was gutted.
Two years previous I had lost a bracelet on the way to work. I have no idea how or why the bracelet fell from my wrist, I can only assume the catch had somehow become loose.
We took the bracelet back and asked for a refund, not happy that a £100 bracelet could break for no reason.

We then headed to the independant jewellers and picked out another gold chain bracelet. Sadly in no time this also broke. I was gutted. So we headed back to the jewellers, they kindly offered an exchange or refund and I made the decision to go for a Pandora. After looking at the actually bracelet "chain" itself it looked very sturdy and like it would take A LOT for it to break.
I had enough money to be able to be able to purchase the basic silver chain, and 2 charms. As this was a present from my husband I decided to go for 2 charms which represented us.

This is the way I wanted go to with my bracelet.
I only get charms on special occasions [birthdays, Christmas, or random surprises] and I tell people strictly which charms I want to receive from them, normally giving a choice of three or more so that they still have a choice of which to get and I still get a surprise....might make me sound like a brat but I don't just want random charms, I want charms that MEAN something, that I can look at and be reminded of the person who gave me that charm.
So far I have 8 charms:
Together Forever Scroll from my husband. Explanation not needed really!
A Turtle from my husband. We are immature and joke about poo a lot [poo = turtle heading] and on the cruise in which we conceived Charles my husband bought me a turtle teddy. this teddy strangely became my comfort blanket whilst pregnant with Charles. I couldn't sleep without it!
A Hippo from my dad. When we were younger we visited Windsor Safari Park and spent ages watching the Hippos. We bought my dad wooden artwork of a hippo.
A House from my mum. To represent that her home will always be my home too.
A Robin from my nan. Because she loves Robins.
A Dog from my mum. Because she has a dog kennel type business and we had 3 pet dogs growing up.
And a C Charm from Charles. His initial.

I am with Nicki in that I don't "get" the buying ones no reason at all and ending up with a bracelet which can, sometimes, just look a bit chavvy and cheap.
A few other people I know who have Pandoras seem in such a rush to fill them and move onto their next chain to fill randomly. I don't get that. Sometimes I wonder if it is a "status" thing in that because the charms are expensive, it makes them seem as though they can afford to fill them. The original bracelet is then not worn and just hidden away...whats the point in that? And to immediately fill them up with a certain colour and then move onto another....Claires Accessories sell similar bracelets for £5 ;-)
I wear my bracelet everyday and am yet to take it off.

I'm hoping to receive my next charm in July....the initial of our second son....my husband is under strict instruction ;-)

I am yet to plan what I will do once my bracelet is full. I think I have at least another 4 years until it is full so will enjoy searching through the charms on offer and finding ones with a special meaning until then.

Sometimes, its not so bad joining a craze.

Silent Sunday

Doubts.....what happens if.....

I'm Ready Now?

But then the doubts come back again…..

What happens if I can’t handle it?

What happens if I can’t cope?

What happens if he is too much of a stranger?

What happens if he doesn’t fit in?

What happens if it affects my relationship with Charles?

What happens if I can’t be myself around him?

What happens if it seems as though we are just babysitting someone else’s baby?

What happens if really I’m not ready?

I love him so much already, I don’t want to let him down.

Flashback Friday: Minnie Cat!

To coincide with my post from last night about The Girl I'm Yet to Introduce You To I'd like to take you back to 2005.
We'd been married a few months and decided we would like to add to our family....which at this point was the two of us and our cat Harry.
We'd been told that the farm in Warwickshire which most of my husbands familys cats came from had another litter due.
We were put on the waiting list, and told it was quite long so may have to wait until the next litter.
But it seems we were somehow bumped to the top and we were phoned a week later to say we could go up and see the kittens.

We went for lunch at my husbands aunty and uncles house, and walked up the road to the farm. There in a barn/outhouse we were shown in to we saw a small bundle of tiny kittens.
I was nervous, I'd never really liked cats before, especially kittens. Cute yes but I didn't really like touching them.
We'd already decided we wanted a girl and would've preferred to not have a tabby, as Harry was a tabby, we wanted something different.
Then we noticed a beautiful tiny fluffy little one asleep on the hay. My husband picked her up, I was cuddling another kitten at this point which I happened to like, but was then handed this other little one, her fur immediately stood out from the rest. A gorgeous tortoiseshell, flecks of ginger, blonde, and "brunette", and what seemed like huge ears. She was so tiny that she fit perfectly into my hands, I brought her in closer to my chest so I felt I was supporting her and she really snuggled in.
I was falling in love.
My husband asked what I thought, I held her away from my chest to look at her to give him an answer....she woke up and....she hissed at me.
As I was about to say "oh I'm not sure now" my husband said "we'll have this one please!"
They weren't ready to leave their mummy yet so we had to wait a few weeks. In the meantime we had to decide on a name.
I wanted Belle, not allowed it, Geri, not allowed it. And after going through a looooong list of names, none of which my husband approved of, we settled on Jasmine.

Bringing her home was nervewracking. I felt sorry for Harry and hoped he would understand that we'd got Jasmine as a friend, not a replacement.
Jasmine was very confident and headed over to him, he hissed, she walked off, and then she would head over to him again, he would hiss, she would walk off.
She slept in our room that night and we kept them separated most of the time unless we were both there.
After approx 2 months Harry finally gave in and decided to love Jasmine. He would clean her a lot, she became dependant on him for this, hense why I call her a Diva.
They were best friends and truely loved each other. And when we sadly lost Harry a year and a half ago we could see how hurt she was.

Still she is around although everyday I expect her to not come home :-( and am relieved when she arrives at our conservatory door in the evening ready to come in and settle down for the night.

Here is the photo of the day we first met her: [not very clear as it was taken on a rubbish mobile camera]

Jasmine and Harry [We have this framed in our lounge]

Showing off her very long and extremely fluffy belly!

*I feel like I should've done a Flashback Friday post about Harry as he is no longer with us and was such a big part of our lives, not just a pet, and I will do one soon, probably in July actually. It will all become relevant.

Be sure to check out the other posts over at Cafe Bebe.

The Girl I'm Yet to Introduce You To.

The whole time I've been blogging I've talked a lot about Charles, obviously, and also of our soon to be born second child, also a boy, and been quite honest about my feelings towards not having a daughter.
Yet tonight it occured to me that not once have I mentioned the special girl I do have in my life.
Jasmine.
She is six years old [almost] and joined us a couple of months after we got married.
She was a play friend for our cat, Harry, who sadly died a year and a half ago :-( They are related and are from a farm in Warwickshire. My mother in law has one of Harrys sisters and my husbands Aunty has other siblings of both cats.
Harry and Jasmine are cousins and half brother/sister (their dad likes to put it about a bit!)

Anyway, after Harry left us we rescued another cat, sadly this cat was very poorly and only spent approx 2 months with us before a trip to the vet ended with us making a sad but fair decision.
In the meantime Jasmine wasn't too happy about being "replaced" and took to going to a neighbours house for dinner/almost to live! [neighbour was inviting her and still to this day does despite us asking, begging and telling her to leave Jasmine alone]
Nowadays she spends more time at home and in the garden and is slowing coming to terms with this toddler who runs after her shouting "Minnie Cat!!!" "Jaaaaaazzzzzzzzz"
She likes to pretend she hates him but if he is in bed at night and she hears him cry or hears him unsettled she is straight at his door wanting to go in to see if he is ok. She will jump on his bed, once I have entered his room, and sit near him purring until I tell her to leave. If only Charles knew she did this, he would be over the moon.

Harry was always a very photogenic cat, Jasmine, although totally gorgeous, has a habit of closing her eyes just as the camera is about to snap!
One day last year though I was able to take some [amazing, if I do say so myself] photos of the Diva herself and would love to share them with you.

 

Missing: Affection.

My relationship with my mum and my dad has always been affectionate. Cuddles, kisses, holding hands....normal affection I guess most of us would expect from our parents/children.
I tell my brother that I love him, sometimes it is met with an echo, sometimes just with a grunt. Either way at least I've said it!

I have an affectionate relationship with my husband too. We hold hands a lot, if we are out we like to have some kind of contact...ie sat in a pub or at a table with family or friends we will have an arm around each other, hand on one or the others knee, mostly as a sign of reassurance to each other, because we are proud to be seen with each other but also just because we are just like that.

This is something we both agreed we wanted a lot of in our childrens lives. I knew for certain that I did anyway and definitely wanted my husband to be the same. I worried that his relationship with Charles wouldn't be as affectionate because of them being the same sex, at first it seemed I was right to be "worried". During chats it seemed as though cuddling and snuggles wasn't top of my husbands list of activites to indulge in with our son [this was during my pregnancy with Charles] but now it is a totally different world.
My husband can't NOT cuddle, snuggle, kiss or hold hands with Charles.
And to see a relationship like that between father and son makes me melt. And its something I hope continues for a long time, and is reflected once our second son arrives.

I'll never forget the first time Charles asked me for a cuddle. I was stood doing the ironing in the lounge. He was roaming free, playing with toys, touching the dvd cabinet, trying to grab for my cup of tea, the usual young toddler things. And then all of a sudden came over to me, stood next to me and repeated a word over and over. I couldn't make it out. Until I all of a sudden heard it loud and clear. "CUGGOOOO, CUGGOOOO" Tears filled my eyes. I put down the iron, grabbed him and we snuggled on the sofa for ages. I told my husband, text my mum, updated everyone on Facebook, alerted the media, requested a plane to fly over the country with a banner telling everyone what had just happened. It was an amazing moment for me. My son had asked me, with REAL WORDS, for a cuddle.
I was breastfeeding at the time too so a lot of cuddles ended up resulting in a feed, but this one was special because it didn't. He just wanted me.

Now the affection is amazing. He wants cuddles all the time, couldn't kiss me anymore than he does, and shows the same affection to my bump which to me is just amazing!

On Sunday and Monday I made phone calls to my nan and my Aunty in Somerset to thank them for gifts they have kindly bought and sent us for the new baby.
Phonecalls with my nan seem to always be short and sweet. Phonecalls with my Aunty always last around an hour. But one similarity with both phonecalls is how they end...."ok then, speak soon, bye"
Nothing else.
With my mum, who I speak to almost everyday, even my husband, telephone conversations, no matter how short or how long always end with "love you, bye".
I can't even tell you if my Aunty has ever said it, or my nan.

My only memory of my nan telling me she loves me is from a letter she sent approx 7 years ago now, when I was planning my wedding. She is a Jehovahs Witness, I am not, we were originally planning to get married in a CofE church. We used to write letters all the time and in one I had told her we were discussing getting married in a church, it wasn't totally set in stone and that a civil ceremony was the other option we were discussing. I explained that we would understand if due to her faith she would be unable to attend the ceremony.
Her reply was that she understood and appreciated what I had said but also added "Of course I would be there. Because I love you"

I have never been able to understand how my nan, and my Aunty, don't feel it appropriate or necessary to utter those three words at the end of a phonecall. I expect you are thinking "well why don't you say it to them" The reason is that they are just not like that. They don't show emotion like that.
The nan I am telling you about is my mums mum.
My mum has told me that as a child, through her teens and onwards affection has never been important to my nan. Their relationship is totally different to that of the relationship between my mum and I.

I am so glad that my mum is the way that she is, and that she didn't follow in my nans footsteps and leave affection out of our relationship.
I can't understand, or comprehend, an affectionless relationship with anyone in my family, or even within some of my friendships.
It is so so SO important to me, and to think of it being missing and non-existant, in a way, just seems totally abnormal.

The Gallery: Mustachioed

Rather odd yet interesting/different theme over at Sticky Fingers for this weeks The Gallery link up.

This week there is no talent required what so ever to enter. All you need is a sense of humour.
And for your troubles you could win a Panasonic HM-TA1 High Definition Mobile Camera. How cool!

So, enough of the suspense, this week's theme is: Mustachioed.
My good friend Laura at Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? is everso slightly obsessed with the things: and not necessarily on men.
On a recent blogger trip to Ireland she made us all wear moustaches. I mean physically held us down and MADE us apply dodgy 1970s-eque taches.
Did we take photos of them? Well, of course we did . . . Thanks English Mum.

So photos of moustaches. Real ones, fake ones, ones on your kids, your cats, your grandma.
Have a giggle dressing your top lip up and the one Laura likes the most wins the camera. Simples.
And the prize is coming courtesy of Laura: Honestly, she'll do anything to flood the interwebs with moustaches, THAT is how obsessed she is with the things.

I'm sure I won't be the only person to do a photo like this [although secretly I would like to be ;-)] but rather than drawing a moustache on my son, husband or myself, I thought I would take advantage of a certain body part whilst I can.
So, without further ado, here is my bump....complete with a face and a moustache [good job its a 'male' bump]
Please be kind, I'm feeling very brave posting this (and yes have clearly edited my skin quite heavily)

(Do you realise how hard it is to draw a face on your tummy whilst looking in the mirror?)

Listography: Products You Couldn't Live Without

This weeks theme for the Listography hosted by Kate Takes 5 is Products You Couldn't Live Without:

So it's the turn of products this week. More specifically products you couldn't live without. Making the list is the easy part - narrowing it down to your Top 5 adds to the difficulty level.

I'll get my first one out of the way, and it is a copy from one on Kates List.

1: Tweezerman Tweezers.
Not only my Tweezerman tweezers though, but also my Tweezerman 12 x magnification mirror. You can see every single little unwelcome eyebrow hair. I panic if I lose this mirror and now have two. Its amazing not only for plucking stubborn eyebrow hairs but also for applying make up. I love it.

2: My Blackberry.
I've had a few problems with my Blackberry but so far this one seems to be working well (5 exchanges in less than two months, not good!) My main contact with my brother since he moved to Bristol is through the fantastic Blackberry Messenger....free chat? yes please!! This is also how I keep in touch with my husband if he isn't working at home and also how I keep in touch with one of my best friends! Texting is easy on it too and I spend almost every day texting my other best friend [probably a bit too much]
Twitter apps and Facebook apps give my Netbook a much needed rest.
The camera and voice note options are also fantastic.

3:  Mascara.
A couple of years ago this would've just said MAKE UP but I've changed. My god have I changed!!
I used to wear make up everyday. Barry M eyeshadows in particular. I have [had] almost every shade, even the ones that didn't really suit me, as I used to mix up my own colours. Now I will quite happily apply, apply and apply mascara. I am a fan of the overdone look though, nice thick black lashes are my bag.

4: Polytar Shampoo.
I suffer with Psoriasis on my scalp and one hair wash without Polytar Shampoo makes my scalp go a bit mad. Annoyingly its very expensive really :-(

5: Television.
Not ashamed of it at all. I could NOT live without a tv. Simple. No explanation needed.

Now head on over to Kates blog and check out the other enteries and add your own!