Throughout my life I feel as though I have given my all to friends, not in a needy, full on kind of way, but in how I feel friends should be treated (send flowers when a family member passes on, regularly ask how things are going if there is a health scare, ask how children are if they are poorly...and so on...)
Our relationship with certain friends appears to have ended which I am really angry and hurt about, not because of the loss of friendship, but because these friends were/are/were Harry's Godparents and I feel as though they have completely taken the mickey out of their vows and pledges, especially when we could have used other people. It was a bad choice made by us and something I can't get over. I feel as though I have really let my boy down.
What with that and another friend regularly telling me how rubbish I am for not messaging her every minute of every day, I'm not exactly feeling my best!
Sometimes I don't know what I would do without blogging....or Twitter. There are various people, just a small group, whom I can go to no matter what. Who can cheer me up. Sometimes without even doing anything. Sometimes just reading their tweets or a little interaction can completely cheer me up.
In less thank two weeks we (my husband, the boys and I) will be heading to London. I have a meeting there as part of the Butlins Ambassador role.
I really looking forward to a weekend away in London, which we were planning for next year so have been able to bring forward. We are currently trying to decide what we will do on the days we are there.
My husband will take the boys somewhere whilst I'm at the meeting. Their excursion will be near wherever I am so that will be planned once all arrangements are finalised.
We are thinking of maybe going to the Natural History Museum on the Saturday and then an Open Top Bus Tour on the Sunday...Charles really wants to see The Queen so we will pick one which goes near Buckingham Palace.
As much as I am looking forward to these plans with my boys I am also looking forward to meeting up with some friends who were also chosen to be Butlins Ambassadors. There are three in particular I am looking forward to meeting, TheBoyAndMe, Jenny aka Mummy Mishaps and Elizabeth aka Mommatwo.
Just thinking about meeting them gives me butterflies in my tummy.
It's almost like meeting celebrities.
I know so much about them without ever meeting them.
I fear I will just be a shy giggly wreck and will probably just burst into tears on arrival but will hold myself back from jumping on them and asking for their autographs.
I'm so paranoid that we won't get on, or that they may not like me, or think I'm fatter in real life than in my photos etc but at the same time I'm so excited, and I worry that I may not want to say goodbye to them.
I am on countdown mode now.
12 DAYS TO GO!